What is Identity
In today’s post, I want to talk about the value of identity. So, identity plays a large role in our lives. Oxford defines identity as a sense of oneself as a separate individual being a distinctive personality and the true self persisting over time.
Said another way. Identity refers to our sense of who we are as individuals and as members of society. Now, previously we’ve talked about how beliefs, drive actions which derive outcomes, which then provide evidence to contradict or reinforce those beliefs. And so, we talked about how all change, specifically financial change in this realm starts with beliefs.
The Power of Identity
James Clear a couple years ago, wrote a great book called Atomic Habits.
He talked about how habits are powerful forces in our lives, and it’s really those habits that determine the long-term outcomes in our lives.
A habit is nothing more than a series of repeated actions done over a long period of time, either consciously or unconsciously.
He points out that habit formation really starts with how we see ourselves. Because it’s our identity that play a large part in the actions that we take. And if our identity or the way we see ourselves or our self-image is in contradiction to the actions that we’re doing, will end up self-sabotaging, will end up quitting. So, it’s really identity that forms and shapes how those outcomes come.
Here’s an example. Let’s say there’s a person who wants to get in shape. They want to start working out, they, so they go to a gym, they try to start eating healthy. They’re informing themselves; they’re doing all the things that they’re supposed to do in terms of actions.
But when they go to the gym, and when they surround themselves with other people who are active and fit and healthy, they see those people and then they look at themselves and they say, yeah, I’m not really one of those. I don’t really belong here. I’m not a healthy fit, active person.
That’s what they think in their mind. That’s how they see themselves.
Additionally, they don’t see the results because long-term change takes a long time. Their actions are not congruent with their identity and so they quit.
Whereas another person, same scenario, wants to get in shape, wants to eat healthy, wants to exercise, goes to the gym, and they see all the active fit people there and they say, I am a person that is healthy. I’m just not as healthy as they are, but I’m aspiring to be that those people see themselves different. Therefore, their actions are in congruence with their identity, and they continue.
It’s really our identity that helps shape and form the actions that we’re doing. And if you remember our beliefs, so the way we see ourselves, our self-image, what we believe, the man or woman in the mirror, then that belief drives actions. The actions drive the outcomes, which provide the evidence, which then reinforce the beliefs, and the cycle continues.
So, as it pertains to our identity, the way we see ourselves, that also plays a role in our money, which is why we’re talking about it.
What do you Deserve
Here’s an example. Let me ask you this question.
Do you deserve to be wealthy?
Do you deserve to be wealthy?
Now you can replace, be wealthy with any kind of worthy financial goal. Do I deserve to retire? Do I deserve to buy a new house? Do I deserve to go on a family vacation? Do I deserve to be a stay-at-home mom? Whatever it is. But we’re going to just use the example of being wealthy.
it fits the broader context of what we’re trying to illustrate here.
So, let me ask you again, do you deserve to be wealthy?
A couple years ago I was going through some business training and the facilitator of that was having us work on some strategic planning, so what we’re trying to achieve in our lives, what we’re trying to achieve in our personal life, how our business supports that, and so on and so forth. And there’s all these questions and answers and things.
One of those questions was he had us write out why we deserve to be successful in business. And I’ll be honest with you, I struggled with it. At the time, I struggled with it so much, I didn’t even really answer it.
And I still struggled with it a little bit if I’m being honest. Really, especially on the word deserve. I couldn’t answer why I deserve to be successful in business. I could answer what I’m doing to be successful. I could answer what I was doing to go about being successful. I could answer what I thought success was, but I really struggled with the word deserve.
So having gone through this a couple iterations, a couple years, I continue to struggle with it. And something the last time we did it helped me in that he reframed it slightly and basically said, “Hey, why should someone do business with you rather than doing some business with somebody else?
And that was a question that I could answer. So, I wrote down things like I help people change their money, which changed their lives, which changes their families potentially for generations. I wrote down that I enable people to live the life that they truly want to live and be the people that they really want to be.
I wrote down things like I help people from harming themselves financially because that’s the reality. Most people work themselves into bad financial situations.
I wrote down that I’m there for them when bad things occur, because we live in a fallen world and tragedies still happen. So, I’m there for them when bad things happen. because they do at times.
And I wrote down, frankly, I just care. Sometimes I care more about my clients’ financial wellbeing than, than maybe they do. But I could answer that. I kept coming back to the word deserve. From my Christian faith, I just don’t feel like I deserve very much.
So, I looked up the definition of deserve. It means to be worthy of, to merit to be fit for it to be suitable of some reward.
Going back to the, do you deserve to be wealthy?
If I work hard for my clients? And I support them, and I lead them, and I guide them in all the facets of money, of goals and life planning and savings and debt and taxes, and investing, insurance and estate planning, and I add value to their lives, and I help them gain wealth and achieve their goals for their life and for their family.
Why do I not merit to be successful?
The way I become successful in business is by helping them, and the more I help them, the better it is for me. It’s a win-win. The better they do, the better I do,
Steve’s jobs in business made a lot of people’s lives better, and he was rewarded financially for it.
Truett Cathy made and served a ton of delicious chicken sandwiches, and he was rewarded financially because of it.
Now, here’s the thing. If you think about it like this, if you go to work for an entire week and you do your job, and you put in the effort, and you do it to the best of your ability. At the end of the week, do you believe that you are entitled, or you deserve a paycheck? Of course, you do because you did the work and now you merit the result of that.
What’s the same thing for being wealthy?
The reality is there’s only three ways that you can gain wealth.
One is to steal it, to take it from others.
Two is to inherit it or be given it.
Number three is to gain it through labor or work. Now, I don’t recommend you go stealing it. You really don’t have any control whether you inherit it, or it’s given to you.
But if you gain wealth because you continually worked hard. You earned money. you delayed pleasure. You saved and consistently invested. You made good decisions. You stewarded it well, and you focused on the long-term gains.
Why would you not be worthy of it?
Why would you not merit it?
because that’s how people become wealthy.
They work, save, and invest and they repeat that on and on and on. But see, here’s the thing. If you don’t believe that you deserve wealth, somewhere in that cycle of doing all those things, you’ll self-sabotage. You’ll quit, and wealth will elude you.
And just like the person who’s trying to institute those healthy habits of going to the gym and exercising and eating healthy. If they don’t identify as that type of person in their minds, they’re going to quit and they’re going to self-sabotage and their results will never come to fruition.
The same is true with your wealth building habits if you do not view yourself., As a person who’s worthy of wealth, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. And therefore, it won’t come to fruition.
Now again, you can replace this deserving of wealth with any other kind of worthy goal of having this car, retiring, living this lifestyle, going on this vacation, having this job, being this stay-at-home mom. Whatever it is,
do you deserve it? And I would say if you morally and ethically achieved it, then yes, you are worthy of it.
You deserve it because you’ve done the work, because you’ve put in the effort, because you’ve made the sacrifices.
I would encourage you if you are in that stage in some form or fashion to wear your blessings, well. Don’t be guilty of it. Don’t be shameful of it. Because you’ve done it the right way.
Conclusion
So, as we wrap up today’s post, I want to give you a micro action that you can take a little bit of time that will help advance you on your financial journey.
And here it is for this week. I want you to take some time and I want you to write down, just like I did for business a couple of years ago, I want you to write down why you deserve to be wealthy.
Or why you deserve to retire or why you deserve whatever goal it is that you’re, you’re trying to achieve and why it is you deserve it. And I want you to take some time to write it down. Think about it, write it out, reflect on it a couple times. There’s just something powerful when you write it.
Identity shift is important as it comes to change in general, certainly financial change. We’re all trying to get better at it. We’re all trying to progress, but your identity must be in congruence with what you’re trying to achieve.
So, take a little bit of time, write down why you deserve to be wealthy, why you deserve to retire, why you deserve to have this goal, whatever it might be, and take some time to reflect on it.
I hope this is helpful for you.
Hope this encourages you on your financial journey. If I could be of any help, please feel free to reach out.
You can send me any questions you might have at Mike at True Wealth Show. I’ll try to answer them to the best of my ability.
And until next time. Hope you have a great day.
